DISTURBED

2008-07-15T09:50:00.003+08:00

bella, i have always loved u.i may not physical,
i will always love u.
i cant deny that.
i can never ever deny the fact that you are the girl that i love so much.
you may say that you are not beautiful, sweet, cute,etc,
but to me you are forever are.
and there are other qualities that shines.
it may not be physical but something that lies within.
you may not realise but it's the fact.
im just missing you greatly right now.
and the thoughts of you leaving me is back.
the insecurities is here.
i cant do anything right now.
everything now is in your hands.
i guess its too late to say anything.
bye.tc.

2008-07-15T09:31:00.002+08:00

why are the past bugging me?
where are the words to start anew?
i've succeeded to turn over a new leaf like finally.
but, someone obviously dont think so.
its just so heartbreaking when the words come from the one you love dearly.
its like smashing a glass pane with a construction hammer.
what should i do?
what should i do other than to prove that i've changed?
i know that's not enough.it's never enough.
when i told her the truth, she cant accept it but she want to know about it.
i just dont understand.
if i kept it as a secret, we quarrel.and if i dont, we quarrel too.
what should i do?
im lost..
everything dawns to me that what happens in this relationship are all my fault.
yes, i know that.bt aren't i making use of this chance to prove that im unlike before?
way unlike before.
nvm,if u already chose to give up on this relationship because of me,
just go ahead.
'let me bear all the pain.im ready to face it.
though its painful.
i have to accpt the consequences.
no running away.

2008-07-14T10:34:00.002+08:00

what have i done wrong?
yes, i was with my friends.i replied late.
im sorry.but why musnt i cntct u till u cntct me?
isnt that too harsh??
at least when we pause, we still cntct each other.
sigh.
pls tell me straight if i have done wrong.
you never wanted to tell me anything.
sigh.
how i hope to be a better listening ear.
i just felt not up to your standard.
am i not a good boyfriend?
what more should i do?
when she talked about norfi in her blog, i was shooting up.
and that shows she still cntct him.isit?
just tell the truth.
i dont want to wait anymore. i want to go on.
i want to move.
i want us to move together.
move together as a whole.

2008-07-07T08:48:00.002+08:00

nothing much to blog about actually...

but, nvm..i will just blog..

1)analogue electronics.

my module for monday,7/7/08.

facilitator:Ranjit singh.(a singh witouht a turban and talks with an accent)

-he talks with the real, original indian accent.

-and i think, since he took off his turban, his head started turning bald.

----and its true....

-but too bad, he's the SEG head.

-nothing that we can do to outpower him.just be patient in his class.

his class was alwats serious..not much joke.

BORING~

2)Relationship with bella(salbiah).

i dont know what kak nor going to do.

but if she ever tries to talk bella around, i am not just gonna stay put.

for sure, im going to meet her and tell her to express all her dislike about me straight to my face.

i just hate hypocrite!!!!

they are the worst creature, worst than an animal's way of handling situation.

for the time being, hope that bella gonna stay put to me, and never to be part away from her.

it's going to kill me.

i'll just hope that you not ging to listen what she says.

______________________________________________________

F**k ppl who dislikes me.

you cant judge me from what you see if you dont know me.

bee-yatch.

dont ponder on the past.

people change like you do.

haha..look urself in the mirror.

correct urself before you interfere into peopl's life.

i know she's your sister but you cant control her like your mum.

TB..which means Too Bad.

and TC..and im sure you all know what it means.

____________________________________________________

2008-07-03T11:52:00.003+08:00

we finally patched up.
and leave that guy.
im happy.
all my tears are worth it.
hmm..
i love u.

2008-07-03T11:36:00.001+08:00

we finally patched up.

1st july 08.
the worst day of my life.
2nd july 08.
the happiest day of my life.
its worth the tears.

2008-07-01T19:53:00.002+08:00

1st july 2008.
the day that im once again single.
unexpected right?
she want to let go 7 days before our first year.
argh!!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-01T14:03:00.002+08:00

belle, i am wondering what state are we in now..
everything seems unclear now.
you are unlike before.
i didnt get the attention that i used to have.
if you really wanna me to change and be strong for us, that is all that i am asking for.
i need your support, i need the motivation from you.
i am 90% done..10% more.
belle, prove to me you are the one.to me, you are the one and you just have to prove it.

i love you.i miss you.i need you.
u promised to be with me through thick and thin.
prove it,

2008-06-30T14:09:00.002+08:00

everything seems to be DISTORTED.

and now i am really DISTURBED with all the happenings around me especially in relationship.

to:SALBIAH,

no doubt i love u.very much indeed.but why does this happens??

you wanted a break-up.i was shocked.very shocked i suppose.

i was very sad and heartbroken.i just couldnt hold my tears anymore.

my tears are like begging and pleading to flow out.

i am now helpless.if you are reading my blog now, note that i am crying my hearts out.

looking at our picture makes me thought about the promises you made to me.

but yesterday was really makes me took a step back.

i have always taken things for granted.and now, its showing.

and with this, i just wanna tell you that i love you so much,missing you every second of my life and you are the one that i need. you may say you are not perfect for me, but i could shout to the world that you are.

pls dont leave me. i just need you in my life!!

i changed because of you and that's the way it should be.

2008-06-24T14:54:00.002+08:00

WOW,it's like ages since i last blogged
but who cares??
this is my blog
so shut the F**K up asses
DEI!, wake up lah...i joking only
hahaha....
soory to all who viewed my blog, but unable to see any updates
it's because im plain lazy
RP is really killing me and my brain cells
pretty f**ked up school i should say
________________________________________

2008-03-12T10:05:00.002+08:00

long time unblogging...
my blog feels neglected....
so now i shall resume....
nowadays, my days are just O.k. nothing special is coming on the way. so, nw i just chill the F*** out. btw just wanna inform my fwen thT i already changed my number.
the new number is 83832432. and the hp is nw SE k800i.
its a bit outdated..bt its ok..hehe.=p
.........................................................................................................................................
to: BELLA.
i noe im nt a gentleman to u. i.ve told u and u can see for yourself when the first time we met.
bt u still accepted my proposal.Y?
izzit because like u said,because of love,all cn be done?
i noe u r tired of me.bt just scared to say.
u can just said it nw and i will take a step back. u cn then wait for ur mr RYTE a.k.a 'THE GENTLEMAN'.
just wanna add, im nt "MR ROMANTIC" too.
n i just dunnoe how i cn attract girls.
sigh =i
last words for u: SAY AND DO! DONT KEEP IT!
.......................................................................................................................
last words for all...
MAY U HAVE A GOOD DAY

2008-01-24T20:53:00.000+08:00

i am actually now disheartened upon hearing her O levels result.
but i tried my best to cheer her up.

deep inside, i feel guilty for her failure to get into polytechnic.
it was her dream to get into poly all this while.
i killed and shattered her dream.

i ruined her plan.
i always disrupted her before her O levels wit all my problems.

i am guilty.

2008-01-04T15:00:00.000+08:00

my mum cook IKAN BAKAR.
coincidentally, we were talking about ikan bakar while eating at lau pa sat.
haha
funny.

2007-12-23T21:31:00.000+08:00

im damn useless.
i dunnoe y.
its just dat i feel useless and helpless.
everything is cramping in my brains and killing my brain cells.
haiz.
nvm.

2007-12-15T11:24:00.000+08:00

i got no mood to blog right now.
there's somethng that kills me inside.
i'm not sure.
but i'm sure this is a slow death.

2007-12-13T20:58:00.000+08:00

met her again today.
after UT, i left school and went to meet her.
we then went to the movies.
Watched Alvin and the chipmunks.
it was hilarious.
and the chipmunks-CUTE!!!!
haha.
and they can sing.
add to their cute factor.

and other things went on.

i justt had a great day by torturing her on her first day of mensuration.
im sorry.

and finally,
when we were waiting for the bus to send me home.
she cried.
and before i boarded the bus, i actually cried.
fortunately, she didnt see it.

PHEW!!!

2007-12-11T21:19:00.000+08:00

i sent my hp today.
i will get it back on friday.
but that is not confirmed.
if i were to be bankrupt, i will delay my hp collection.
haha.

but at least im happy.
i love you.
muackz.

2007-12-11T10:00:00.000+08:00

as a ALLAH's khalifah, i have failed to do what is supposed to be done.
i did not abide by HIS rules and regulations.
i am a failure.
i am damned.

now, i feel as though i am losing everything in life.
my family, relationships and etc.

its just 1 way now.
to start abiding HIS rules and do what i supposed to be done as a khalifah
.......................................................................................

yesterday night, i am crying for the whole night and doesn't have a good night sleep.
i just keep thinking about her.
her words that what was said.
it touches my heart.
and 1 of them is this 'syg syg syg.......syg syg syg......syg syg syg?'
i finally got what is meant.

and for now i just couldnt msg her anymore.
for 1 week.
my hp is spoilt and no money to repair and buy a new 1.
its all due to the late pay check.
its frustrating.

it feels like hell.
i feel empty and emo without her.
the feeling is like being murdered but worse than it.
it is just undescribable.
...................................................................................

to:bibi.

i am fine.
my whole day is great.
i ate sandwhich for lunch in school.
i miss u.
how i long to meet u.
haiz.
but..nvm.
i uunderstand truly.

hope you are fine without me by your side.
just remember that i always remember you.
and loving you.
muacks.

2007-12-10T22:09:00.000+08:00

today is a very suay day for me..
1st . my hp is a gone case.
to add to my misery,
warranty card is gone.
im so depressed ryte now.
dont feel like doing anything.
2nd, my laptop is down.
i just cant connect to the wireless network.
im so stressed.

now i cant contact her for a week or so.
it makes me more depressed.
it feels like hell.
she already starts work and cant possibly meet her.
and nw , i cant contact her.
double the PRESSURE!!!!!!!!
haiz.

I LOVE U!!
I MISS U!!

just wanna let u noe that i am crying while typing the above.
MUACKS!!!

2007-12-05T20:18:00.000+08:00

today was an extremely great day.
it was exceptionally CHAOTIC.
i cant keep my hands to myself and just wanted to touch, hug, and make her happy.
and panic at some point of time.

and today is the day i will treasure our relationship.

2007-12-04T22:30:00.000+08:00

just finish RJ-ing.
the question kinda lame.
question: describe yourself in a sentence.
but i just anyhow put in an answer to describe myself.

btw today is fun.
feel rejuvenated after meeting the BRAINees after a long time.
its like after soooooo long.
haha.

went to KFC and munch our dinners.
not to forget jokes.
but this time more into sexual content.
it starts after NAD's said 'MUM, I WANT TO PLAY DOWNSTAIRS'
wen translate, it sounds kinda wrong.
'MAK, kite nk MAIN bawah'
haha.

and i too MADE A grave mistake by saying ORGY which is supposed to be AGONY.
damn.
haiz.

btw on my way home, i twisted my thumb.
its painful.
its VERY VERY VERY painful and it hurts till now.

i think i need to apply ointment now.
so..
BYE AND GOOD NYTEZZZZ.

2007-12-03T21:40:00.000+08:00

spent my boring day with my precious.
hehe.
but after meeting her, my day tooka turn.
she brightens me up.
YEZZA.
I LOVE U.

btw nw MSN-ing fyan.
told me all the tension that was brought up.
i could just look and shake my head.
what is GOING ON HERE???

WHERE'S THE BRAINEE FAMILY??????

sometimes i just dont understand.
and just dont bother to as i dont want to be implicated in this misunderstanding.
haiz..

looks like i have to just SIT BACK AND ENJOY THE FREE SHOW in front of me now.
and looks what happens next.

CHAOZ.

2007-12-01T16:48:00.000+08:00

she's back.
a little relief for now.
i just felt happy when she's back.at least i dont feel empty.
she's the one that makes me full.
love U.

btw school is really BORING me.
the TOPIC about schools tires my BRAIN CELLS.
my PANTAT brain is stressed but shows no sign of DECREASING(in terms of size).
haha.

actually, i miss the days when people called me PANTAT.
haha.

2007-11-29T12:14:00.000+08:00

life is empty without you.
no matter how many people are around me,
it is never the same with you the only one around.

i miss you.

2007-11-19T20:07:00.000+08:00

zzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
tired,tired,tired.
slleeeeeeppppp.

2007-11-12T11:19:00.001+08:00

yea!!!!!
today i am officially 18.
i can finallynot break the law literally.
haha.
but i want to be a good boy.

but like mast said before,
being 18 is no different.
and ITS TRUE!!!!!

2007-11-01T15:28:00.001+08:00

before i blog about what i did yesterday, i would just like to say sorry to YOU.

if i hurt you indiectly.

im reallly SORRY.

now, for what i did yesterday.

.........................................................

i CABOT halfway at 12 o'clock and meet her.

as usual, met her at her void deck.

i gave her the opportunity to decied where to go,

but she is still unsure.

haha.

nvm.

in the end we went to IKEA tampines.

hehe.

had lots of fun.

this is some of what we take:

i'm trying my very best to shit DOWN here.

'BITTEN' by a 'HIPPO'

brushing my teeth with a rather GOOD toothbrush.

DONT take my heart away...or else i cant flirt!!!!

having fun caning her..yahoo..

to all...u shud know why i am doing this...

and lastly, me with my new foung friend.

and this is a pic that i like for yesterday.

and she say my EYES are cute.

hehe.

2007-10-30T21:31:00.000+08:00

MY FAVOURITE PIC.

haha.

today is a so far so goood day.
it is because i managed to sneak out of class.

and meet her.

hehe.

and these are the pix we took together.

2007-10-28T16:38:00.001+08:00

my mind is nowadays DISTURBED.

DISTURBED with something that i dont know the source.

its freaky.

GOD please help and guide me to the right path.

i know i've sinned a lot to you,ALLAH s.w.t.

i will always look up to you in both happiness and sorrow.

i regretted.

2007-10-25T16:02:00.000+08:00

currently nothing to blog.

but im feeling down.

everything seems to be in a mess.

2007-10-23T14:19:00.000+08:00

feeling down at the moment.
trying to cheer up but i just cant.
TRYING MY BEST!!!!!!

forced by my dad to delete all those sweet memories from my HP.
photos are to be deleted.
MESSAGES too.
haiz.

how am i going to prove them wrong???

2007-10-19T16:31:00.000+08:00

i can never be a good person in life.

i can never be a good MUSLIM,
BIG brother,
FILIAL son,
BOYFRIEND,
and etc.

i regretted doing all that i've done so far.

my mum called her.
i cant do anything but just stand at a corner and CRY

and now my hp are taken away.
i can no longer contact her.
my hp is gone.
my old hp keep unable to receive RECEPTION.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!

my mind is blank.
maybe we are not fated to be together now.

but no matter what,
SEE YOU ON THE 6TH.

2007-10-17T20:07:00.000+08:00

I'M DEAD!!!!!!
I LOST HER BRACELET THAT HER MUM GAVE HER.
I WAS SUPPOSED HELP HER PUT IT ON.
BUT INSTEAD I LOST IT.

HAIZ.
WHAT A DAY TODAY.
SHOULD HAVE KEPT IT SAFE.
BUT I DIDN'T.

2007-10-15T09:32:00.000+08:00

TIRED.
i want to sleep now.
no mood to even celebrate HARI RAYA this year,
and also in the YEARS to come.

today needs to go my UNCLE's and AUNT's houses.
i then need to bring my laptop along.
haiz.

ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2007-10-11T15:20:00.000+08:00

how am i supposed to tell you what i feel???
i cant do it.
i need you so much,
more than anyone can thought of.

im sorry if i had neglected you so far.

just enjoy your trip there and dont think about me as it may ruin your day or even your stay there.

i will take a step back and will never disturb you any longer.

2007-10-10T11:53:00.000+08:00

am i scared???
am i worried???
am i jealous???

what am i exactly feeling inside, i dont know.

but i just got to trust her.
that's all i can do right now.
IT's THE BEST I CAN DO.

2007-10-08T18:43:00.000+08:00

keeping mum

PUT YOURSELF IN MY SHOE AND SEE WHAT YOU FEEL

this year is the year of DEATHS in my family.
so many people died from this family.
my mind is not stable.
with all the problems around me.
2 deaths happen 1 day conscutively.
and there was a previous death before this.
it really ruins my mind.

innalillahiwainnailahirrajiun.

2007-10-08T11:05:00.000+08:00

so many occurence can really happen within a week.
its painful and heartbreaking.
let me keep it to myself.
...................................................................
to: anyone concerned.

chill, i'm sorry.
i dont pity myself, but the ones around me.
so many painful and heartbreaking incidents happens within last week and till now.
happenings that happens both within and outside the family.
sorry if i sounded cruel.
but im sorry.
PEACE.
....................................................................

for all you know my mood is tarnished.
dont do anything to cheer me up for now.
i really cant do anything.
but do what you can do.
i wont blame you if anything unwanted happens.
..................................................................

2007-10-05T20:53:00.000+08:00

First of all, i would like to thank the people that showed their concern.
appreciate it lots.
especially Kak Shida.
you have done a lot for my family.
THANK YOU.

thanks to syahirah,
you have been a good friend indeed.
next time if you have problems do tell me, ok?

thanks to my dear,
you have really been my backbone in the worst and critical moments.
you have really been a good girlfriend.
love you lots.
.............................................................................................

next, i would like to blog about today.
DAMN!!!!
.............................................................................................

TO: KNEE BRAIN.
stop looking around, it's you.

i was supposed to send her, her external HARD DRIVE.
she even told me to go to her class later.
i agreed.
then, i had to drag fyan and shuyi along with me.

i am already GOD DAMN sick and waiting for the PERFECT time to faint.
and both shuyi and fyan had to rush for their meetings with friends and god sis respectively.

i then waited for both of them at W3 vending machine.
then we made our way to her class.
but the shortcut through the library was closed.
damn.
we then turn back using the long way.
i was running out if breath but i perserved.
and shuyi told me not to faint.

when we reached her class,
to our dismay, she was not in class.
and when called, she was at her friend's house.
i was like "what the hell?"
but i was lazy to argue as i was really sick.
pity both fyan and shuyi who had to follow me even though they are rushing elsewhere.
haiz.
.............................................................................

bi, i love u.
dont worry about me,ok??
i am going to be fine.
muaxie!!!!!!!
............................................................................

that's all folks

i do think i need a rest now and eat my medicine.
have a gd nyte people.

TATA TITI TUTU.

2007-10-02T09:37:00.000+08:00

i seriously i need to mature.
i need to be a good son and brother.
a responsible son and also a brother who leads by example.

i need to take over the job that i had given to my younger sis.
the job that i abandoned since i was 4 years old.
i have not been a good brother.

everyday, i remembered , she will lead me to the toilet in the =middle of the night.
but that was when i was 4 years old and she was 3.
haiz..
there are many examples but i lazy to type.

i want to be matured so as not to burden the one i loved.
.....................................................................................

i just got a news.
my mum is suspected to have kidney failure.
haiz.
what exactly is happening?????
then was my sis, now my mum.
i just cant think straight now.
i dont know what to do.
.......................................................................................

thats the reason i need to grow up unlike someone i know.
........................................................................................

to: my dear,
i love you and will treasure you.
i promise i will try not to hurt you anymore.
.......................................................................................

2007-10-01T21:22:00.000+08:00

after school went to meet up as usual.
but only 3 of us survived the ordeal.
haha.
me, mast and fyan are the survivors.
we went too the MAC at the civic centre.
break our fast together.
we talked, joked and not forgetting bitching.
haha.
it was fun after a long time without their jokes.
and the jokes shall be remembered by me and not shared to you.
..............................................................
BREAK is important.
haiz.
i love her so much.
day and night i kept thinking about her.
she looks cute when she ties her hair.
never dreamt she looked that cute with her hair tied.
..............................................................
i am dying without you or your SMS.
but i shall endure.
i hope this is going to end soon.

LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
muax!!!!!

2007-10-01T10:38:00.000+08:00

my life changed ever since i joined RP.
RP changed me from a cheerful into a moody guy.
i dont know what happen to me these days but i just get angry.
no matter who,when,how,why,what.

i feel that i am getting pathetic as days pass.
my life has turned into a cage.
stuck in a word, immobolized.

i am now keeping it all,the feelings.
i am still holding on, keeping cool.
.........................................................................

she called me yesterday.
talked for 2 hrs.
maybe.
but to the end, i just give a cold shoulder to her.
i am acting cold towards her.
i dont know why.

maybe i was angry at her.
i felt i was neglected when we are talking.
haiz.
nvm.
i understand.

i just felt that i am being pessimistic.
i was just confused.

my mind is blank right now.
.......................................................

i love u.
never once i thought that i would hurt you in such a way.

i promised that i will change.
wait till 6th nov 07.

till then ,
CHAOZ....

YOURS TRULY,
FIFIe
......................................................

to: blogger

i wil blog to you when im nt bz.
aitez?

gtg.
to mend myself and make amendments.

2007-09-30T04:53:00.000+08:00

today's entry is just to update on both FRIDAY and SATURDAY.

FRIDAY:
i went to meet my gegerl.
hehe.
i was just sooooo happy to meeet her.
she's the reason i smiled everyday.

we chill at the void deck.
and we fetch his son,her nephew to be precise.
then i went off to work.

as usual, it aches my heart to even leave her.

SATURDAY:
i went to my grandfather's house at JOHOR.
hehe.
i get to let out my love to my grandfather.
did the usual stuff.

and when i on my way home,
i received a SMS saying that my gegerl is at DANGA BAY.
haha.
no chance of meeting.
nvm.

we then SMSed each other.
till SAHUR.

and then, here i am blogging.

BYEZZZZ..
time to pray n SLEEEEEP..
ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

2007-09-27T21:04:00.000+08:00

i was sleepy....
n i feel like DYING....
i am soooooooooooooo TIRED!!!!!
unlike yesterdae where im HYPER!!!!!!!

but my mind cant stop thinkig of her....
eventhough how tired i am..

btw, she actually messaged me to tell MISS CALL her when the AZAN was played on the radio...
but due to the fact that my battery when flat..
i cant miss call her and received her message when i switch on my handphone...
haiz..
SORRY DEAR.

2007-09-25T09:49:00.000+08:00

i dont want to blog about class today..
because it's like usual..
but only the minority is making a whole lot of noise..
and im OBVIOUSLY included..
if you know my nature..

the point of me blogging today is to blog about me..
i feeel so goddamn bored ever since i can no longer interact and communicate with her..
its like i have not fulfilled a very important thing in my routine life..
but i just dont know what the *THING* is..
haiz..

everytime i daydream is all about her..
my mind keep wandering..
wondering how is she doing everyday..
how is she today..?
are there any problems she faced but doesnt want to tell me..?
I MISS HER TERRIBLY!!!!!

i just feel that the love grows as days pass..
previously, i always said that my relationship with her will never last..
but now, i want this relationship to last..
LIKE FOREVER..

2007-09-24T09:53:00.000+08:00

haiz..
haiz..
YAWNs....
bigger YAWNs....

i slept at 1 am in the morning..
woke up at 5am, i suppose..
den ate sahur..

after eating, my stoach is sour...
very very sour..

then i wait for my sis to finish bathing..
i then bathe at 5 plus nearing 6am..
haiz..

i need to send her to hospital..
for her blood test, i suppose..

nvm bout dat..

what makes me pissed off is the fact that there are no taxi seen...
dammit!!!!!
we waited till 6.28am..
till i decided to break up to look for a taxi elsewhere..
i was in gd luck as the taxi arrived when i stepped on the cemented path...

fortunately, my sis is not late..
phew..!!!!

i waited with her till 7 plus..
she then decieded to walk with me..
bt i walk to the mrt alone..
i took the train at 8.01am..

n i was almost late to school..
haiz..

cognitive is killing me...
ARGH...

*today is the start that i cant conact her till 6th Nov..
hope im strong ...
help me GOD..
i noe u are always beside me..
in times of happiness and sorrows..

2007-09-22T13:03:00.000+08:00

YAHOO!!!!!!!!!!

im just happy...
get to let out all my love to her...

but ARGH!!!!!!!!!!
because i only get to see her on the 6th november...
after her O levels..

nvm...
i just pray for her success...
and that our relationship wil last...
AMIN...

*i will remember all that you've done for me and the relationship
and the kisses that we had...

*love you..
i am going to miss you lotz..
sob sob...

hope that after the pause this time, our love will grow....

2007-09-21T13:34:00.000+08:00

today is a FINE day...
away from any disturbance and disruption...
im FREEEEEE...

n if u wana know,
i am at PASIR RIS ryte now...
blogging while waiting for her to come DOWN!!!!!!

gonna beakfast together with her...
not sure where...
but for sure its gonna be somewhere...
haha..

2007-09-18T18:37:00.000+08:00

i love her..
i really do..
but somehow i just feel she is different now..
thinking about this seriously makes me want to cry..
to be frank, i am indeed crying.

she is no longer the same..
i sometimes wonder if her love for me has faded..
but if it does, she would have told me personally..

i am trying to change for the better..
for the sake of the relationship and her that i loved so much..
.....

i just cant stop crying now...

sorry i am going to blog in malay now..

Sehari tidak ku berhubung denganmu,

terasa diri ku kehilangan,

dan membuat hidup ku tidak sempurna,

seperti si buta kehilangan tongkatnya.

Pabila ia berubah menjadi seminggu,

hati ku terseksa,

perasaan ku meradang entah mengapa.

amat ku mencintai dirimu..
tapi apakan daya ku..

2007-09-17T11:40:00.000+08:00

haiz...
haiz...
my 1st day in W14P is VERY NOT OK..

but i actually managed to make 3 new friends...

1.alvin
2.pang SOMETHNG-SOMETHING
3.cheryl

and in my group for today consist of 3 china peeps.
1 male and 2 female.
and 1 singaporean lady, i suppose.
all of them are so damn quiet.

seriously, most chinese students in my class are from China.

PITY ME!!!!!!!!!!

2007-09-04T21:02:00.000+08:00

again..
i am being EMO today.
i am soo sad to leave her.
but i have to.
haiz.

yesterday when she cried while hugging me,
i felt like crying too.
but i have tobe strong in front of her.
but i failed when i reached the busstop.
i cried non-stop.
haiz.

2007-09-01T15:06:00.000+08:00

i a feeling so down.
i got no mood to open mouth and talk.

but i feel like shouting at anyone who talks to me right now.
i just cant keep my cool.

the fire in me is raging.
it's burning.

2007-08-28T14:09:00.000+08:00

after 1 month and 20 days,
i am leaving her for the first time.

she is having her O's this year.
it is good to leave her so as to give her space to study
n be better prepared for her O's.

i am kinda sad.
i kept thinking her day and night.
she kept appearing in my yes.
my heart feels empty without her .
how i wish she could be beside me all the tim.
this is the weirdest feeling i have ever experienced.
damn~

love u my precious.

2007-08-25T17:03:00.000+08:00

juz wanna edit previous entry.

MY SIS WEIGHT IS 45kg.
and to add..
3. KAK SHIDA.

she is the one sacrificing herself to donate her kidney to my sis.
thanks a lot.
hope u r ok now..

THANKS.

2007-08-23T16:41:00.000+08:00

since i got nothing to do and feeling so bored,
i decided to blog about my family's sacrifice for my sick sis.

1. my dad

he did all he can to earn money to support my sis weekly appointment.
1 appointment is so expensive.haiz.
he actually turned into a PART TIME RAG-AND-BONE man.
i do help too when i am not bz, which is usually on weekends.
at first, i do feel embarrassed but as time passes, i finally thought that there is nothing to be embarrased about as you are not stealing someone's property.

2. my mum

she tried her best to cook sumptous food yet healthy food for my sis. for the first time, i saw my mum opening a cookbook to cook.
its soo not her.
but unfortunately, my sis had gained so much weight.
a 160cm girl.
once a 38kg, now a 53kg.
so much weight gained.

2007-08-22T21:14:00.000+08:00

THIS IS MY THEORY ABOUT GIRLS.

i do not think i need to explain the above.
you can read the above yourself and intepret it.
i know there are a whole lot of you that agree with me.
haha.

2007-08-22T09:39:00.000+08:00

thursday is the last day for me to be together with all of you, perhaps for everyone in the class.
but the 17 of you are going to meet up for BBQ without me.
haiz.
aniwaes, thanks for everything that all of you had done. appreciate it lotz.
no amount of words can describe my feelings to LEAVE the class after being
together for 16 weeks.
we did almost everything together, like during breaks and even toilet trips (LADIES ONLY).

dats all i suppose.
enjoy your BBQ.

from the bottom of my heart ....
THANK YOU AND LOVE YOU.

esp my first dae frenz: SUFYAN,SONIKA,SHAHIRAH & KHALID.
my first week frenz: SUFYAN(again!?),MASTURAH & NADIA.
my W35c NORM-doers frenz: SONIKA, MASTURAH, NADIA, HUI YING, HUI ZHI,
CATHERINE,JACINTHA,CHEK HAN, JONATHAN, TERENCE, SUFYAN.

and once again.....
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
may our friendship never dies.

2007-08-16T21:01:00.000+08:00

I DONT KNOW WHY..
BUT I JUST FELT LIKE KEEPING QUIET.
I NO LONGER FEEL THE NEED TO TALK.
MY MOUTH IS HEAVY TO OPEN AND EXPRESS MY CONCERN.
BUT I AM OK.
THIS IS ME.
90% OF THIS WEEK IS ME.

THE REAL ME AND I MEAN IT.

DONT ASK ME WHY.

BECAUSE I AM GETTING MYSELF.

I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL.

2007-08-06T20:32:00.000+08:00

i dont know what happens to me today.
the painful memories that i experienced 11 years ago returned.
it was triggered after hearing someone's sarcastic remark.
time and again he repeats it.
but i understand his feelings.

i experinced a whole lot of verbal abuse.
it was like since i was in P1 -P6.
since pri 1, i was called a fatso and suay.
this all happens when i pri 1, my team lost in an event.
we got forth.
hais.

and in primary school i dont really talk.
and my primary school 'friends' would call me 'gemok bisu'
i would ignore what they say.
and they will continue to taunt me with abusive words.
i shall not type it.
this goes on and i never reveal it to anyone.
i am only exposing it now.haiz.

nvm.
6 years of primary school is HELL as i am very fat or obese.
and get verbally abused and bullied.

and everytime this painful memories returns, i would walk or spend my time alone.

how i hope i can be anti-social again and shut my mouth.
ignore everything that's happening around me.

2007-08-05T16:22:00.000+08:00

haiz..
what has happened to the world?
are they blind to see that i am not chinese?
it's because almost everywhere i go, people who are both chinese and malay thought i am
a chinese.
today when i was walking towards CCK MRT, a malay/muslim man approached me for a donation in a ticket form. it was $2.
nvm aboout that.
ok here it goes....
'hi,we are collecting funds for the needy' he starts.
'yea, ok but i dont hav money right now' i replied.
'ok, sorry' he ends with a disappointed tone.
'its ok, assalamualaikum' i replied.
'waalaikumsalam,YOU MALAY?' he asked.
'yeaps, y?'
'you dont look like a malay'
i smiled and walked away.
and that guy was obviously a malay/muslim.

another incident happens at the same place.
a young charming lady was looking around.
but she got no fat legs.
and when she saw me, she said that she was doing a survey on gambling.
i said ok willingly.
but after asking my name...
'you are not a chinese is it?'
'nope im not' i replied.
'oh ok, sorry for taking up your time' she says
'no surveys?i thought u had 1?' i asked.
' we are actually doing a survey on the same topic but only CHINESE can answer the questions'
haiz..

am i not tanned enough to be a malay or even a javanese???????

nvm ..
back again...
i saw a NYP student in the MRT.
she probably just finished a water activity.
because she was carrying a life jacket.
haha.
she has fat legs with a NICE body.
damn~.
i was standing in between the cabin and she was at the door facing me.
i was as usual listening to metal songs.
as i was listening not even paying attetion towards that girl.
suddenly, when i turned my head she was beside me, smiling sheepishly.
i was like shocked for a while.
i pulled out my earpiece.
i greeted her.
she then intro herself.
she's GERALDINE,17,NYP student,MECHANICAL ENGINEERING,KAYAKING is her favourite pastime.....
i then intro myself too.
she then asked for my number.
i was like over the moon.
haha
but stupidity or 'TRUTH' is on my side.
i replied' yeap sure but im attached'
her facial expression changes and walked away with her heads down.
how i wished i never say those WORDS.

2007-08-04T22:34:00.000+08:00

well...HELLO readers...
today i am going to blog about what i see in the MRT.
firstly, i am going to tell you that i am dead as i left my earpiece in MAST's bag.
DAMN~
and i was so bored without my earpiece while in the MRT on my way home.
ARGH!!!!!!

nevermind....
and when i have no earpiece without me, i just had to look at peeople in the MRT.
haiz.

i shall begin now with what i see to day on my way back home.

it happened at PAYA LEBAR station.
a cute small girl alighted from the MRT with her family,
as she was walking, she was also looking inside the cabin that i was in.
as i was smiling to myself (im nt crazy),
she waved at me and smiled happily.
i also waved back to her, smiled and sticked out my tongue.
she was really cute.
should have taken her picture.
but too bad.
i dont have it.

next happens when i am at OUTRAM PARK.
a malay family boarded the train.
and they have a baby in a trolley.
they baby was really cute.
and he's a boy.
and he YAWNS.
he yawns till his mouth wants to tear.
haha.
when he yawns, he covers his mouth and with the same hand, he scratches his head.
and he looks extremely cute with his small face.

as i was slacking in the train,
4 french internationals, boarded the train.
2 female and 2 male.
and the male was unGENTLE.
they sat down wherelse they female had to stand.
pity the ladies.
and 1 of the guys imitate the station's name.
haha.
its quite funny when they say with their accent.
haha.

dats all folks.

2007-08-02T10:16:00.000+08:00

SUFYAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM NOT WEIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but nevermind.....

Rules:
Each player starts off the game by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged needs to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things about themselves as well as stating the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

so here i begins...

1) SUCKING MY TOE.

it is my hobby since i was 4. i dont know why i like to suck my toe, but its nice.
haha. it is so especially when i cant have my baby pillow beside me.
COOL!

2) SUCKING MY MUCUS.
this also my other hobby since i was 4. i like to have influenza so i can suck my mucus.
hehe.

3) SLEEPLESS
i am sleepless when i am in a vehicle. even in my dad's car and the public transport. no matter how long is the jorney, and short duration of my sleep the night before.

4) BASICALLY
this is my favourite word now. i dont know how and why it came out of my mouth but it just came out.

5) IRRITATE
this is again my favourite hobby. haha. especially when it comes to my friends.haha.
and my favourite target: SHARON.

6) IDIOTS
when i am with my secndary crazy frenz, we tend to talk with ppl we dont know and disturb them.haha.

the chosen 6 peeps:
1)atiqah
2)afifah
3)sharon
4)nadia
5)asiq
6)azmi

haha
happy blogging about your weirdness.

at home

2007-07-30T11:02:00.000+08:00

haiz....
now i know why MAST says staying at home is boring.
damn~
its boring.
with nothing to do.
me facing the laptop and vice versa.
and do the household chores.
HOUSEHOLD CHORES!!??

haha.
that's what i do.
everyday.
no big deal.
duh.
not like SHARON.
haha.
no hard feelings.
aite?

how i wish i could go to school and meet my friends.
haiz.
if not for the STUPID headache.
damn~
AARRGGHH!!!!!!

i think i need to relax my head for now.
bye.
i going to die soon.

2007-07-25T19:55:00.000+08:00

today i will be blogging about monday..
but i will let the pictures speaks..
aites?
EMO.::::::::

CANDID.:::::::

ABUSED.::::::

but for sure after what i have shown, i can SHOUT that i LOVE my FRENZ!!!!!!!!!

all depicted in the pictures above, my art fren(SHARON) and w35c.......

maybe only some of them..
hope we can maintain our freindship till we graduate...

aites?

hope my wish comes true..

and btw sorry to all if i have been disturbing u non-stop because i can be very irritating...

i KNOW!!!

duh..

actually i relieve stress by irritating people...

SORRY once again..

from the bottom of my heart..

SORRY and LOVE you GUYS!!!!!!!

2007-07-16T20:57:00.000+08:00

hehehe.....
today i was so observant.....
i was on the way to meet my girlfriend......
taking the train......
and this is what i saw......

*ignorant people*
there was 2 girls standing in front of me.......
they was like 18-20 years old.......
they was sitting at the needy seats...
but when a pregnant lady enters the MRT.......
they pretended they dont see her......
and 1 pretended to sleep while the other takes out her notes......
DAMN~

*perfume*
a lady was using the same perfume as sharon.....
hehe..
suddenly tot of her....

on my way back home.....

*ang moh*
he was speaking on the phone.......
with the slang.......
so ERGH!!!!!!!!
then he was reading the FINANCIAL NEWS.......
he was sooo focused........
till his eyes wanna pop out......
maybe coz the shares went down.....
haha....

n maybe dats all for today....

2007-07-15T20:10:00.000+08:00

haloo all.....
i just wanna blog about yesterday .....

BASICALLY(again),yesterdae got to meet my sweetheart......
so happy......
we spend our time at PASIR RIS park......
we then went shopping.....
but the best part is.....
she hugged me as if she doesn't want me to go home......
it was so tight......
I FEEL SO LOVED.......

i was in the bus when her SMS received on my HP.......
she said " i'm crying right now coz i cant bear you to leave me "
i was so sad and overjoyed.......
haha

suprisingly, she called me just after meeting her.....
again...
I FEEL SO LOVED.......

2007-07-14T07:48:00.000+08:00

haiz....
yesterday's friday the thirteen was really bad...
and its not NAD's birthday...

but it's थे वर्क.
it was really tiring yesterday...
the buffet was fulled...
its FULL-HOUSE...
imagine how many dinner plates,side plates,platters,soup cups,square bowls and pots i have to wash with an idiotic friend...
he was really an idiot...
it was so GODDAMN busy and he went for smoke...
and he was gone for like 30 minutes...
and i am left alone...
SHIT ASS..

but nvm..
im meeting my gf today...
yea...!!!!
cant wait 2 see her...
coz wen i see her,all my prblems seems to disperse....
love her soo much..
hope i have a lasting relationship with her...
maybe i should take mast as an example...
hehe..

2007-07-12T21:00:00.000+08:00

hehe...
just as i got home.....
i quickly run to the durians in the kitchen.....
this is what i do.....
*look at the pix*

durians....
nyum3......

nyum3..dun be jealous....

hehe...

btw this is my mom w/o her teeth....
sorry mummy..

btw after school,we went home with shuyi(the extra one)...
mast,fyan,sharon n me...
we were like tickling each other and unknowingly...
causing hurt...
sorry..

2007-07-11T20:52:00.000+08:00

just want to add to my previous entry,
now i have durians all around me.

my parents just got back from my granfather's house at simpang renggam,benut.
he asked my parents to bring home the fruits from his fruit farm.
hehe.
i missed him.
so does he.
when he misses me and my siblings,he will always give fruits.
so nice of him.
hehe.

and today there's not only durians but rambutans and coconut.
nyum2.
i gonna savour them before studying for UT.

2007-07-11T20:15:00.000+08:00

im really sorrie peeps.
maybe mast is right by saying that i bottled up my problems and i blow it out on you peeps.
damn sorrie.
but i really dun wanna trouble u peeps.
u r all my frenz n i dun wanna add my problems to your problems.
coz i know everyone has their own problems.
really regret what i've done.
SORRY.
i gonna apologise personally to u peeps.
aites?

btw back to the topic mast said.
juz wanna say that i'm attached.
to a girl inthe EAST.
pasir ris to be exact.
i knew her through IMESH.
hehe.
it sounds lame.
but it's the truth.
we then started chatting at MSN.
get to know each other better before i told her
"cn i make u more than that of a friend?"
but never did i expect her to reply promptly
"i do"

i was so happy that i cant sleep for the whole night.
all over the moon.
im in cloud 9.
hehe.

but before i decided to sound her out.
i consult my dear mom on what i should i do.
coz i was really confused at that time and dont want to be heartbroken again.
but she gave me an answer.
'do what our heart tells you to'
now here i am'stucked to her.
if you are reading this,sorry dear.
joking only.

oklarh gotta study 4 UT.
bye peeps.

MORON

2007-07-10T20:52:00.000+08:00

sorrie bloggie.....
i would like to apologise for the vulgarities.
and to those whom it concerns.
damn fucking moron are all around me.
i was ok till the art lesson.
all because of sharon.

she told mast that i like N****.
what the fuck!?
it's worse than me being lovey dovey with sharon.
duh.
i got a damn fucking beter choice than to choose her.
PLEASE~.
but i just kept quiet coz i just cant be bothered.
she has been saying that since the day before.
FUCKlarh.

as my mood was recovering,
asked another moron to go to the toilet with me.
but it's just not meant to be.
DUH.

he wants to watch the video on mimi.
DUH.
i seems to hate cat now.
VERY MUCH.
as i lost my ayu.
and i got little memories of her.
all my sacrifises for her are wasted when she's gone from my life.
it's 3 goddamn years.
haiz.

but seriously i got no mood now.

with a idiotic girl

2007-07-09T20:51:00.000+08:00

hi people.today is the idiotic day.At least for me.
reached school late,around 9.30,i suppose.
then MSN-ed sharon.
she wants to go home.
wherelse i am so goddamn tired and sleepy.
hehe.
this is the part when i started planning for the worse.

i planned that we CABOT during the first meeting.
hehe.
we then cabot.
i waited for her @ W1.
its long.
maybe this is retribution.
nvm.

we then walked to causeway point.
haha
we took the lift and went to the 7th floor.
planning to watch transformers.
but tthe cinema is still closed.
we then went downstairs to LJS.
had our brand its breakfast.

we then went up again and its already opened.
we queued up.
its quite long.
hehe.

but all the desicion was made by HER.
ARGH!!!
who is she to decide.?
and the story continues......................

WORST DAY OF THE WEEK

2007-07-06T21:03:00.000+08:00

TODAY is the worst day of the week.haiz.
the module today is science.very boring.
initially,i knows the problem statement and got ideas what to put in our presentation slides.
but after the second meeting,the facilitator came to our group.
her questions really confuses our group including me.
haiz.

during the third meeting,its worse.
our group was asked question by the facilitator.
we were quiet because of our lack of understanding.

the class also ended late.
then got the UT revision.
hehe
but the brainees were absent.
ARMPIT went to watch movie with his GOD SIS.
STOMACH went home because she was tired.
but she ended up unable to get in.
because she forgot to bring her keys.
haha
pity her.

KNEE,BRAINLESS n ME went library.
we waited for EAR brain to pass KNEE her external hard drive.
its a LONG wait.
but i managed to finish my RJ.
hehe.

then we went home together.
oklarh dats all for the night.

2moro got something on.
YAWN.

BORED

2007-07-05T22:10:00.000+08:00

2dae i was feeling goddamn tired.
i barely cant open my eyes.
i supposed they were meant to be shut together.
but still i went 2 skool.
how i dread doing so.
haiz.

i dunnoe wat 2 sae anymore coz i damn sleepy already.
NO!!!
guess i need toothpicks.
haha.
YAWn.

GD nITEZ ppl.
bigger YAWN.

ASIQ here.

2007-06-30T02:45:00.000+08:00

Hey COUSIN. LOL. I'm supposed to help you change the blogskin but I can't. I asked around and I found out it's because you signed up for blogger after they changed the template thing. That also means I can't really help you change the skin now because there are some codes that I do not know or some stuff that has to be done first before I can actually put in the html for you. So I'm pretty sorry and I feel sorry for you too because, simply put it, TOO BAD! LOL. I'll try to find out from my friends first then maybe I'll try again some other times. Take care DUDEY and don't skip school. HAHA.

CABOT!!!!

2007-06-29T20:12:00.000+08:00

today i feel as if i have gone back to my secondary skool days.
the days that i almost CABOT everyday.
haha.

today the module was okay.
very okay.
but suddenly in the middle of the lesson,
iqbal came out with a good IDEA.
that is to CABOT.
DAMN.

the guilt is in me.
basically there are two groups that CABOT.
my group and FYAN's.

the names are as follows:
MAST,NAD,JOYCE,FYAN,IQBAL,CHEK HAN,DERRICK,ALVIN N ME.

then all except for iqbal went for a game of POOL.
at WOODLANDS POINT.
haha.
i lost all the games that i played.
DAMN.

me n my foul mouth.
haha.
as i am watching MAST N FYAN playing pool,
there was a shocking news!

ALL OUR CLASSMATES WILL GET A 'F',
because of us.
we were feeling damn guilty.damn.
n i cant concentrate on my game.
n which i lost to NAD n FYAN.

n finally a relieved moment,
it was just a prank!!!!!
no!!!!
we were cheated.
but i think we deserved it.
N IT WAS uncle STEVEN'S idea.
haha.

haiz.

ANTI-social

2007-06-28T22:06:00.000+08:00

i was really pissed off with ARMPIT.
he ruined my mood.
BADLY.

TO ARMPIT:
hey bro.
i treat 'her' like my sister.
you do not need to be angry.
i dont UNDERSTAND y u are angry.
it's not like i'm gonna take her away.
DUH.

btw i told her to msn you herself.
she refused.
dun believe me?
can check my MESSAGE LOG.
i dun mind.

n i forgive u.

but i dunnoe y.
when we talked bout her.
u will give me that SICKENING face.
n ur words on msn are really sarcastic.
if u r nt happy.
we can talk things out.
we are friends rite?
i treat my BRAINee frens like my family.
but i dunnoe bout all.
suddenly i feel that i am not suitable in the BRAINee family.
DUH.
..........................................................................................................................................................................
I leave early pissed off.
met my frens @ WOODLANDS mrt.
trying 2 cool down.
telling them wat happened.
i felt ok.
but that feeling is still bugging me.

nvm.

we then went to LOT 1.
where we bought ourselves bubble tea.
we then walked 2 CCK park.
we spent our time talking bout secondary skool daes.
my memory then rewinds back to both pleasant n unpleasant incidents.
haha.

acah n bull.

UNTITLED

2007-06-27T21:27:00.000+08:00

haha.
2dae sOo ok.
im damn ok.
maybe a little crazy.
haha

maybe shall blog in tamil.

मिट मय सेक स्कूल फ्वेंस.
अफ्ता किंग बैक फ्रॉम सुम्व्हेरे.
वे वेंत जम्मिंग.
दम्मित सो नोइस्य.
हः.

ई वास प्लायिंग द्रुम.
दृम्मेर फ़ॉर थे दय.
येः!.

वे थें वेंत तो क़ुईन्स्वय् तो लुक फ़ॉर मय वंस.
न अल्सो अ न्यू पैर औफ़ सोच्सर बूट्स.
फ़ॉर मे न बुल.

मेटल इस थे बेस्ट.
रॉक ४एव.

SoO tired!!!!

2007-06-26T21:55:00.000+08:00

2dae was an extremely tired dae 4 me.
i dunnoe y.
but just tired.
haha.
zzzz.

afta class gt art.
BATIK PAINTING!
AWFUL.
i HATE the colouring part.
i dun really noe how to match colours.DREADFUL.

haiz.
we then walk 2 the interchange.
me,MAST,FYAN n LAMER(SHARON).
we were like playing the 'ALPHABETS' game.
MAST will sae the alphabets.
n we will tell the word that comes to our BRAINS.
haha.
n the funny part is X is for ZEBRA.
HAHAHA.

went 2 OLD CHANG KEE.
which FYAN saes 'YOUNG' sumting...
dun really catch it.

.n the lamest part of the dae.
MAST n FYAN saes that me..L(FIFI) n LAMER.
r lovey dovey just bcoz we were playing arnd.
DUH.
n it was all due to a small plastic bag.
n who wants 2 throw it.
.....................
hehe.

N SORRIE MAST.
i didnt contribute 2dae.
N 2 ALL.
SORRIE 4 BEING IRRITATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PRETENCE (is it good or bad?)

2007-06-25T14:28:00.000+08:00

y m i pretending that im ok?
wen i m still heartbroken?
i myself dun understand.
nobody can ever mend my broken heart.
its like a piece of broken mirror.
it can be glued together but will still have scratches.
haiz.

every steps i take,
i think of her.

every single movements i make,
she will come 2 mind.

basically everything i do 2 4get her,
i will be remebered of her.

dammit.

i hate tis feeling.
how i wish i could kill tis feeeling by making myself bz.
but it is nt meant 2 be.
ARGH!!!!!!!!

I TRIED EVERYTHING BUT FAILED!
IM A LOSER!

GD MOZRNING!

2007-06-25T12:05:00.002+08:00

gd morning every1.
haiz.
i woke up 2 feel the cramp muscles on my leg.
damn.
i can hardly walk.
its so painful.
ARGH!.

tis is all due to the fact that i didn't warm-up before the game.
i should have warm up.
damn.

2dae's class was damn boring.
TAN PENG2 WAS IN THE HOUSE.
I COULD BARELY CONCENTRATE.

SHIT!?

2007-06-24T13:57:00.000+08:00

haha.
2dae gt soccer match.
between my team n ateam of my hotel's fren.
damn.
nid 2 wake up early.
i woke up @ 6.30.
do my prayers n get ready.

meet up wit my teammates.
n went off.
its @ tampines.
sOoooo far.
the field is opposite TP(temasek poly)
haiz.

damn.
i was like so sleepy n play the starting eleven.
i cant bare 2 run.
feel like running wit my eyes closed.
n unfortunately 4 me.
my boot studs was torn.
shit ass.

looks like i nid 2 buy a new pair of boots.

btw i was playing the CENTRE BACK.
damn.
the opposition was so fast.
in my sleepy state.
i nid 2 catch up wit them.
so exhausted.
haha.

but ultimately.
we managed to get a DRAW.
a 3-3 draw.
they won the FIRST-HALF.
we managed 2 catch up afta a few changes.
haha.

so sleepy.
let me sleep!!!!
i nid 2 work 2nite.
haiz.

n i still cant 4get her.
NO!!!!
i tink i will neva b able 2 4get her.
haiz.
NO!!!!!!!

ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz...............

WaT hApPenEd?

2007-06-23T14:58:00.001+08:00

OMG!!!!!!!!
wat the hell have happened?
n y m i involved?
god dammit.
haiz.

people nowadays are idiots.
pls dun be racist.
dun compare another people wit a nigger n vice versa.
wanna blog.
blog ur dae's life.
haiz.

dun implicate others.
write ur real name if u hav the galls.
COWARD.

DUH!

is this love?
or more than that?
i usualy 4get girls in a day or two.
but i fail 2 4get her.
haiz..

THANK U FRENZ.

2007-06-23T13:42:00.000+08:00

i juz wanna apologise 2 whom i 4get.
espesicaaly my 2 frenz.
mast(knee) n shuyi(brainless).
tanx 4 giving me encouragements n r by my side in critical moments.
haha.
appreciate it lotz.
btw i guess i gonna be ok.
i GUESS only.

n nt 2 4 get the other BRAINee family members.
THANK YOU.

n 2 whom any1 it may concern.
dun ask me y i dont have a tagbox.
i juz dun wan 2 hav it n dats it.
DUH.

SILENCE N HEARTBREAKING

2007-06-22T21:44:00.001+08:00

DAMN!
its so goddamn boring.
so many people never come.
especially mast(knee brain).
wake up late?
i wonder.
haha.

the class is like a mortuary.
no 1 is hyper today.
i cant be hyper for now as i'm still heartbroken.
and i dont think i will ever forget her.
DAMN!

i like or maybe love DEBBIE so much.
i dont think there will be other better girls that i can find.
i want her.
ONLY.
O GOD.
please fulfil my prayers.
but i know that all that u decide have a reason behind it.
haiz.
y is life so unfair?
u can never get the girl u want.
basically anything u want.

n finally i noe that i can cry.
she made me cry.
NO!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm no longer a man.
haiz.

DaMn SaD

2007-06-21T21:39:00.000+08:00

its 9.39 pm.

i'm DAMN SAD.

rejected.

i feel DEJECTED.

sigh.

btw we gt a new member in the BRAINee family.

n the persn is TERENCE.

EAR BRAIN.

20/06/o7

2007-06-21T14:40:00.000+08:00

everything was fucking great.
amd i remembered none.
haha.

but i only remembered one thing.
about me driving my dad's car.

n this is how it happens.
*it happens last year.
it was @ 1 am.
i was damn bored at home doing nothing.
i cant sleep.
i stared @ blank and dark ceiling like an idiot.
and my hp was a SONY ERICSSON T100.
damn old.
no mp3.
damn.

then i started walking out of my room,looking for a drink.
but when i stepped out of my room,i saw my dad's car key.
it's beside the telephone.
i changed my mind to drink.
i then take the car key,and went downstairs.
started the engine and drive off.

i was driving out of the carpark @ a speed of 20km/h.
damn.
i lost control of the car temporarily till i swerved 2 the wrong lane.
it shocked me when i saw another car heading straight towards my direction.
i quickly swerved back into my lane.
n braked
2 gain my confidence.

i then started driving again.
i slowly accelerate.
damn slowly.
i control the steering wheel perfectly.
then after 5 minutes,
i already drove @ a speed of 90 km/h.
i can control the car.
yea!!!!

i then braved myself to enter the expressway.
haha...
i went tru BKE n PIE.
went 2 geylang.
damn so many prost******.
sexy.

afta looking around i went back home.*

the next dae.
my dad found out.
wen he checked the petrol gauge.
it was already half empty.
he gt angry and nags.
got a whacking from my mom.
haiz.

1st dae of skool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-06-18T23:28:00.000+08:00

2dae can be classified as the funniest dae,at least 4 me.
i woke up late looking damn blur like sotong wen i look at myself in the mirror.
how horrible do i look?
with hair spreading out like branches.
its all due to the wax which i didnt wash the dae b4.
DAMN LAZY.....

skipping wat i did afta that....

i was @ woodlands mrt station
n there was a lot of RP students alighting from the mrt.
i was puzzled y there was a lot of people.
it's all due to the fact that i m still blur since i woke up.
DUH.
n i was missing the times that we went 2 skool 2gether2.
I WAS MISSING EVERY SINGLE 1 OF W35C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

skip......skip......skip........

afta skool,as usual we went 4 dinner.
we walked 2 causeway.
went to LJS,no seats.
went to MAC,no seats again.
WHAT A PITY!!!!!!!!

then i suggested that we dig in @ banquet.
which as well agreed by the others.
we bought the food ...
dig in...
but didnt finish it...
WHAT A WASTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

afata that we went off....
i taking the escalator while the others take the lift.
*SOB**SOB*

we then sees of BRAINLESS n KNEE BRAIN.
whilst ME(BUTTie),aARMPIT N TUMMY
took the mrt.'i nid 2 see my sis.
I MISS MY SIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*HER CONDITION RITE NOW*
she's fine @ the moment.
only gt infection n it was known by her urine.
n maybe her POO.not POOH.
lame.
*L on my forehead*
she was supposed to back by last sundae but delayed
haiz...

my music..

2007-06-15T15:44:00.001+08:00

its nice...
haha

2007-06-14T20:11:00.000+08:00

2dae is a gd dae.....
at least 4 me.....
firstly in the morning went to the bank to fill up my GIRO form....
which was constantly delayed by me....
haha....
but 2dae its done.....
YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

den meet up wit my 2 idoitic frenz.....
MAST n FYAN..
n there were actually later den me....
HOPELESS.....

fyan wanna pay his skool fees...
which in the end..
its free....
haha..

MAST wants 2 check n the virus....
pity her LENOVO...
haha
n we waited for hours...
for her laptop....
but we eat first...
haha...

BURP!!!!!!!!!

den we went booklink where i actually farted from my brain....
*POOT*....
n it was afta fyan(armpit brain)says his brain is sweating...
nmy brain(BUTT) actually responds by its action....
haha...
*POOT*..

we then as usual went for lunch @ causeway mac....
YUM2!!!!!!
after joking arnd...
we decided to split..
mas n fyan went home n i went FAR EAST...
to buy myself a bag..
haha..
i went alone coz my 2 frenz refuse to follow me....
*SOB**SOB*

i reached far east alr...
as i was walking alone n my mind wanders off....
sum1 shaked me....
i turned intending to scold dat person...
but i was shocked wen i saw it was my second ex...
WOW!!!!!
shaes more cute....
n more feminine...
my heart actually beats faster at dat moment...

i den started conversation by saying 'hi'.
she replied n started talking n followed me shopping..
n went i want 2 pay 4 my bag...
she actually pass the money 2 the cashier wen i was taking out my money..
but i managed 2 persuade her to accept my money....
YEZZ>>

we then chat n eat...
she eats ..
nt me.....
n i treat her....
coz she was always treating me wen we were 2gether...
its payback time...

n wen she wants 2 go home...
i actually feel sad...
sigh..

2007-05-29T10:57:00.000+08:00

yesterdae gt 2 sleep @ hospital wit my sister..
its painful 2 see the nurses poke holes on my sis arm..
to take her blood before the kidney transplant..

n 2dae i need 2 come school straight from hospital..
n i m almost late..
haha
..

SaDdEnNiNg DaE..

2007-05-28T13:12:00.000+08:00

2Dae is e dae dat my sis is warded in the hospital....
she's warded for her kidney transplant 2 days from now....
damn sad..
haiz..

i seriously m helpless..
but i must act as if nothing happened..
haiz..

.......................

2007-05-24T20:59:00.000+08:00

damn borig seyh 2dae..
n awful..

firstly..
my big ulcers dat grows n my bottom lips..
its damn painful..
cant talk @ all...
only cn keep quiet all dae..
haiz..

secondly..
a member of the brainee members..
was absent..
which is..
kneebrain..
**to her juz wanna sae 'im sorrie'..
its fine if u wanna ignore me..
i dun mind @ all..
but ido have my reason..
nvm..

lastly,
didnt get 2 see my love..
*debbie..
a sweet gerl..
haha..

hope 2 have a gd dae 2moro..
n nt2 4get my fridae prayers...

FYI...
i m a changed person..
i dun smoke n drink..
BELIEvE ME..

CoNfUsEd

2007-05-16T20:43:00.000+08:00

skippping the morning lessons 2dae tiil the end of class..

which ends @ 4.30++..

as usual afta skool ..

we..

the usual ppl went downstairs 2 meet..

kak massie's frenz..

shuyi and debbie(my love)..

HAHA..

but 2dae ..

there's sonika(SONAKA),n huiying(AH LIAN)..

with us..

n..

debbie cant follow us 2 walk 2 the mrt ..

due 2 the reason that she needs 2 attend an interview..

4 her guitar I.G..

pity me too..

haha.

nt 2 forget shuyi who failed the first interview..

haha.

ok...

enough bout that..

we the four braineee"s..

me(BUTT BRAIN),SUFYA(ARMPIT BRAIN),NAIM(STOMACH BRAIN)n KAK MASSIE(KNEE BRAIN) + SONAKA n AH LIAN went downstairs to meet shuyi..

bt b4 dat..

the gerls all went 2 the loo...

n we arranged the laptops..

its lame.

but its funny..

dunnoe y..haha..

itS arnged tis way..

n the blue case belongs to kak massie a.k.a knee brain..

dats her..

den after they came back from the loo...

we went 2 shuyi's block which is @ W1..

we then went 4 dinner...

@ banquet causeway point..

SONAKA isnt able to meet us ..

as she needs to meet her fren..

@ kovan..

so there's 6 of us left.

halfway through..

AH LIAN leave us..

as she needs 2 meet her fren..

btw..

only 3 ppl eat..

STOMACH BRAIN..KNEE BRAIN..N..ARMPIT BRAIN...

KNEE BRAIN WAS EATING YONG TAU FOO..

STOMACH N ARMPIT BRAIN eats western food..

afta munching their way through..

stomach n armpit brain..

went 2 buy buble tea..

whereas ..

NO BRAIN(SHUYI)n knee brain..

went 2 buy water..

n left me..

BUTT BRAIN 2 take carre of their bags n laptops..

in e end..

no brain n gang..

end up buying mineral water n fruits..

there were cheated of their money on the fruits..

haha..

we then eat the fruits..

watermelon,honeydew,rock melon,n mango..

we ate..

n left stomach n armpit brain..

the leftovers..

n cut into halves..

hahaha..

look @ e pics we took...

HEAR ..SEE..SPEAK...NO EVIL!!!!!

EMO FACE OF KAK MASSIEemo face of nadiASUFYA EMO..SHY ...NO BRAIN..HAHA..THE LEFTOVERS..

BASICALLY NOTHING...

bOrInG BoRiNg

2007-05-15T20:49:00.000+08:00

2dae morning was almost late 4 my UT..

bt i stil end up doing 8 minutes later..

due 2 slow start of my laptop..

bt fortunately...

i managed 2 finish all my qns..

thank god..

2dae lesson is better den other enterprise module's lesson b4..

no calculation..

ease of my mind..

but the faci xplaination still confuses mie...

coincindentally..

my focus is..

110%...

but 2dae we dun hang out..

every1 wants2 go home early..

n run away from e I.G..

me,sufya n kak massie took art..

esp debbie..

e sweetest gerl..

i've ever meet..

needs 2 go 4 a dental appt..

haiz....

dats all 4 2dae..

complicated dae.....

2007-05-13T19:57:00.001+08:00

2dae is e best..

get 2 wake up late..

woke up @ 1++..

but as soon as i wake up..

need 2 bathe n get ready 2 folloe my mum n sisters..

2 the reflexology centre @ geylang..

its 4 my sis..

background info:

since she is suffering from a kidney failure..

my parents decided 2 sent her 4 reflexology session..

which is 3 times a week..

its on alternate daes..

tuesdae..thurs..n..sundae..

and on mondaes..wednesdaes..n ..fridae..

she needs 2 attend dialysis..

its so sadening 2 see her going 4 dialysis..

her chest was operated on..

2 insert a tube 4 blood flow from e dialysis machine..

if only she was not diagnosed from kidney failure..

we would have gone 2 skool 2gether..

@ RP..

but it was nt meant 2 be..

but finally....

my cuzins kidney sees 2 fit her..

n going 4 transplant tis 30th may..

...

...............................................................................................

we went there by mrt..

den my mum went shopping..

she bought a toilet bowl cover..

haha.

afta shopping..

we went home using e same mode of transport.

in e mrt..

it was hilarious..

there was 2 kids ..

aged 2-3..

i suppose..

they was playing @ the grab poles..

n jumping trying 2 reach e handrail..

it reminds me of my childhood daes.

haha

@ home i switched on my laptop..

den my 'sis'..

kak massie..

apeared on my screen...

n told me dat she was boring..

nduring our conversation..

i sense sumting dat was amis..

she was juz wasnt e 1 dat i noe..

i tried very hard 2 entertain..

but fails..

nvm..

mayb she has a problem..

n dun wan 2 tell any1..

haiz.

fUn

2007-05-10T21:20:00.000+08:00

kak mastorek

as per usual.. emo gerl

RP starts @ 9 - 4.30 0r later..

2dae;s module is basic science..

but its nt even basic..

haiz..

summore gt UT(understanding test)..

emo gerl

neva study..

boring..

no time 2 finish everything..

but nvm..

btw i dunnoe y i like debbie..

mayb shes cute?

mayb shes sweet..

n wen i see her ..

i feel shy..

n embarassed..

n i suppose i was blushin'..

anywayz..

as usual..

e 4 of us went 2 eat..

but 2dae a litle diff..

gt xtra fren..

SHUYI(NO BRAIN)..

n we eat @ KFC..

usual..

we had lots of laughs..

n sum1 was xperiencing PMS..

n was a lil diff..

haiz..

n dat NO BRAIN was smsing all e way..

dat she didnt follow our conversation..

den @ 6.30++..

NO BRAIN n KAK MASTOREK..

went off..

as they stay @ tampines..

me,SUFYA,n,NAIM went 2 library..

its soooooo quiet..

like a mortuary..

but nvm..

we went 2 children's section..

take a seat..

n switch on e laptop..

i cant get thru..

but suprisingly..

NAIM cn get thru but still nid 2 register..

n she was really happy..

PSST:(she kept scoldin' vulgarities wen its slow)

@ 8.05..

we went off..

i took e same train wit SUFYA..

n here i m blogging..

haha..

hApI DaE

2007-05-09T20:41:00.000+08:00

i vely vely hapi..................................
duno y..........................................
but i suppose ...................................
its bcos i gt 2 walk 2 skool..................................
wit syahirah..........................................
my new friend..............................................

lesson is also fun wit a new team..................
and coincidentally.....................................
the group is wearing emo colours..........................
e usual......................................
red and black............................................
ME(FIFI),SUFYAN(SUFYA),SHAHIRAH(LEADER OF ALL LEADERS) r wearing red.......................
and dun quan(lEADER) n TIANGSIAN(PAUL) wears black..............................
things were moving smoothly...............................
till during e time b4 presentation.............................
where everiting starts going chaos.................................
dunnoe who 2 talk abt each slide.........................................
n LEADER actually got angry coz ...................................
he didnt get 2 speak e slide dat he memorize.........................

in e afternoon till evening...................
ME(FIFI),SUFYAN(SUFYA),NADIA(nAIM),MASTURAH(KAK MASTOREK)..........................
we went 2 Mcdonalds for dinner..................................
there were lots of laugh...................................
it all started wen SUFYA's "rain" drops...............................
followed by KAK MASTOREK's snow ball falling out from her mouth...................................
but NAIM seems listless...................................
n started 2 listen 2 her creative mp4(30gig).............................
but seriously it was fun........................................

ArGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-05-08T21:08:00.000+08:00

Haiz.............................................
2dae in e morning everything was smooth,.......................................
enjoyed many happy moments.................................................

but duunoe y .......................................
everything seems 2 shut..............................
as the clock struck 5.30.....................................................
i was confused .........................................
i duunoe wat i was doin...................................
i keep irritating ppl................................
n cause ppl 2 get angry.................................

how i wish i could b like b4.........................
e quiet n 1 who does nt disturb any1............
nvm..............................................

2007-05-08T11:30:00.000+08:00

tis 4 yesterdae...................................
its great getting noe each other during dinner @ causeway's Mcdonald...........................
going out wit mastura(kak massie),nadia(nadim),sufyan,me(fifi)..............................
but i suppose nadia's e weirdo ...............................................
she keeps emphsizing on e chalet (her idea)...................................
n a malay 'blockbuster' JANGAN PANDANG BELAKANG( dun look behind )...........................

i really think(seriously) kak massie's fren..............
DEBBIE is cute............................
HAHAHAHA..........
lame...................